"I don't believe it!" - A Victor Meldrew 'moment'

After the previous day's lovely solo ride I thought we'd go out again today as I had another day off.

One lesson again: just don't expect or have intent.

 I think 'Mr F' was trying to tell me something - mainly that he simply didn't want to go into the directions I wanted to take.

The main roads went fine but then I thought for a change we go back into our little 'fitness parkour' in the shape or a wooded area with ups and downs and tree roots over ground. Much footwork and balancing required. 'Mr F' and I have been in this wood many times, riding or walking. Always without any issue.

But today was a "bah humbug" day for 'Mr F'. We got halfway through the wood, all went OK, he slalomed nicely among the trees until we came to the steep part ... "NOPE ... not even a pig coming up from behind will get me up there, NOT today!"

There I sat ... wondering how best to proceed. OK, so here we have some proper napping (which is rare). I guess it is going to be a case of who is more stubborn/patient/strong willed. Although I didn't want it to become a battle of wills as such. I didn't want to have my ego involved at all.

Alright ... lets just stand here until 'Mr F' get's fed up with that too. Which happened after about 2 minutes. As he wanted to move I directed him again where he didn't want to go. Refusal. So I made him go backwards, sideways, anything that he would find irritating enough to stop refusing.

I had all the patience in the world, how much patience did 'Mr F' have?

Meanwhile I could hear the voice in my head "I don't believe it!". (for those that don't know: Victor is a grumpy old character in the British sitcom 'One Foot In The Grave'.)

Well, a good 10 minutes later we got where I wanted him to go ... I let him do a few strides, that's all I wanted. I praised him.

We moved on. This was followed by yet another refusal ... I asked him to go down a path that he doesn't like anyway. As he was in his 'Victor Meldrew' mood I proceeded as earlier. This time it took a little less time because I did trick him ... by moving him to a spot where he sometimes (NOT always) can eat grass and there I made him turn. By the time he realised what I did it was to late for  him to refuse. Well, that was one way around his argumentative mood.

We continued a little further and things went ok. He did as I asked. I left it at that. It wasn't great but it was acceptable. He doesn't usually behave like this, he's done this perhaps 5 times in these nearly 4 years his been with me. Back on the main road he behaved perfectly and never makes a run for home.

Of course I did check him out for any sores etc ... but there was nothing. He was most interested in anything that was going one once back in the stable .., and of course there was his food to be served anytime soon, surely!

Today's ride was nothing like our last ride out but then right here I had yet another lessson of: stop looking into the past, the moment is NOW. Don't look back, because the horse doesn't. He doesn't stand in the stable thinking: 'oh perhaps we are going to have another lovely ride today like we did yesterday'. To him there is only NOW. For him there is also no tomorrow. Now imagine that - another thing to learn - all this time wasting of daydreaming about tomorrow ... wishing wanting hoping ... all wasted life. Making us miss living, being alive in the very moment.

Oh so much to learn from these beings (all 'non humans').

"I don't believe it!" ....

Let me be in silence - Beautiful solo ride out.

Today the sun was shining beautifully. I went to attend to 'Mr F' in the early morning as usual, mucking out feeding etc. The short drive to his stable is a very scenic route and it starts quite high up, which in autumn/winter offers many breathtaking sights with the sea of fog and the sun rising. The same this morning, it was stunning!

After having breakfast with 'Mr F' - its such a peaceful way of eating, all the chewing and munching sounds - I went to fetch some more seeds and other bits and bobs.

I hadn't taken 'Mr F' out on my own for some time yet I have always greatly enjoyed it. Today I had time as it was a day off so I made my way over the the stables again just after midday.

He was sunbathing / snoozing in the field with 'Luke' and 'Little Sam' and I went to say 'hello'. I spent some time in the field with them. It's a first pointer to get an idea of his mood and the way he communicates when putting his head collar on: is he interested (turns towards me, lowers head so I can put on headcollar easily) is he not interested (stays put or gently turns away) is he in discomfort (usually communicated by 'Mr F' walking away at the sight of the head collar and herding the rest away from me) and so on.

He was in a kind of neutral / interested mood. Once in the stable I took my time to see to his hooves and to put on his hoof boots. Two layers of vet wrap around the hoof edges help making the hoof boots sit snug without twisting.

Then it was time for some grooming etc. A great deal is communicated between us when grooming. All the while I let him chew some of the haylage that is in the stable. 

Other people are too at the yard, all getting their horses ready, some going for lessons, others going for rides.

We are the last ones to get on our way. 

As my journey (some may call it spiritual journey) or as I call it: shedding of all the conditioned layers continues and brings changes and revelations every day, so did our ride today.  My placement on 'Mr F' was different, my lower body was part of his and for the first time I very clearly felt a figure of 8 movement in walk. Sway to the right, slightly forward, back and sway to the left, slightly forward and back, and repeat. It was a very even rhythm, just letting my hips 'roll' with it, having my upper body completely still. 

There is an exercise I do often when out riding: I balance my little whip (not actually sure why I bring it nowadays) in my open hand during walk and trott. Today I was pleased that I could balance the whip without actually holding it even during trott and transition back to walk (while not riding with stirrups). It appears that my body is learning, or more: I am less and less separating myself from 'Mr F'. I don't resist his movement, hence it is all much more balanced and united.

Being on our own he had to do the work of look out while also paying attention to me which made it all more interesting for him. He reacted very well to me 'steering' with my hips and the leg aids too were acknowledged immediately when 'slaloming' through groups of trees or making space for passing cars. He patiently would stand still (without eating grass!). Gait transitions too were accepted without arguing and by me just using my seat. It appeared that 'Mr F' was not minding me as his rider at all today. It was a true partnership today on this ride and being on our own I was not 'distracted' by talking. Although I do enjoy riding out with 'Lillian' because of our often silly conversations, I prefer being out on my own, just 'I' and 'Mr F'.

The last stretch just before getting back to the yard I use to let 'Mr F' enjoy some grass while I admire the views. It was a lovely late afternoon, the sun was setting and the fog was trying to creep up. We just stood there, in silence, beautiful joy and bliss.

Back at the yard I was getting 'Mr F' ready for the night, when 'Lillian' returned with the trailer. She came to spend some time in the stable with 'Luke' and as she was watching 'Mr F' stand next to me while I was listening to 'Lillian' she suddenly said: "You know, his (Mr F) face has changed so much over the past 3-4 months ... he no longer looks as though he thinks he is 'above it all', he is softer, but he knows he can trust you, I think he is 'in love' (not in a romantic cheesy way) with you."

Indeed, I felt a strong connection from deep inside flowing through all of my body, a wordless communication. 'Mr F' stood right next to me, his head very close (he isn't one for much body contact, but he sometimes likes to lean his mouth very gently against the curve between my neck and shoulder). He seemed extremely content.

Although I really am less and less looking back into the past nowadays but one thing is for sure: our countless walks too have very much contributed to our partnership level. For most this sounds a boring thing to do but I can only recommend it to improve the trust level between  you and your horse.

It appears that somehow today's ride has united us some more. 'Mr f' stuck his head out of the stable door for ages seeing what I was doing while I was sorting out stuff in the yard. Normally he just goes and chews haylage oblivious of what is going on. I didn't want to leave and would have happily slept in the stable. It was a sensation of belonging ... among other fellow beings.

Because in truth we are animals too, except over the past several thousand years we have developed emotional thinking ... or self awareness, other than that, there is no difference. We have the same basic needs. And I am quite sure that at some point in the past there was communication (without words) among all living beings ... all understood one another. We have 'lost' or unlearnt this ... 

But that's an entirely different topic.

The Saddle Experiment - Completed

In previous post I have mentioned and shown the 'new' 2nd hand saddle that I purchased for 'Mr F', in view of making trotting more comfortable with stirrups. It was a beautifully made treeless, western style saddle.

I have avoided testing the saddle because I am enjoying riding with the physio pad so much. It's so simple and it just fits both of us like a glove.

However, seeing that I bought that other saddle I might as well try it. So yesterday I had a few moments on my own at 'Buttercup Farm' and went to tack up 'Mr F'. He nowadays accepts anything that I put on his body so that is no longer an issue.

'Lillian' supplied me with some old stirrups so I could try it all out.

All tacked up we proceeded to the 'mounting' area (a stone wall, now with added mounting block). At that moment 'Lillian' turned up.

I proceeded to mount and as I sat in the saddle, legs in the stirrups, I felt disconnected from 'Mr F'. I couldn't feel him breath, I couldn't fee him move and I felt trapped with my legs in the stirrups and all 'steering' that I am used to (with hips and seat) was no longer possible as there was too much material between us. I was no longer part of 'Mr F'. I was some piece of meat sat on his back.

 What put the final conclusion in place was 'Lillian's comment:  "You look like you are riding a camel."    That is just how I felt! Decision was made: I shall stick with the Barefoot ride-on-physio pad. It is soooo comfortable to ride in and 'Mr F' too like its.

Meanwhile my legs have yet more adapted to rising trot without stirrups. It is all about being with the horse, being with it's rhythm and not to resist it. Don't think, just be ... as one. And suddenly things become near effortless. I may sound like a stuck record but this is really it, its that simple. Our job as rider is to get out the horse's way once we sit on the horse (and have prior managed to establish a 100% trust relationship!) The horse knows how to do its job, its us that don't, it's our bodies that are stiff and unfit and mostly unbalanced, so the horse has to compensate for our clumsiness on top of saddle discomfort. So yet again I realise just how much they put up with.

The less tools and gadgets I have on the horse, the more we are 'together'.

The Horse's Gift To Us

Further observations / revelations / acknowledgements ... whichever the word may be.

I am not wanting to go on about this too long, yet I am asking you to consider the following:

A horse isn't born to be ridden. It is not a car that is purposely built to be driven. It is a fellow living being. It just happens to have evolved into a shape that allows for it to be ridden. But so are cows, elephants, camels etc etc.  But you cannot do with these above what you can do with a horse. Just think of all the wars when horses were used, when they were used for work our ground so we could eat, when they were used to hunt so we could eat, cow herding, archery, jousting etc etc. And in more modern days dressage, show jumping, eventing etc etc. Their willingness to team up with a human, their ability and gentle ways allowing for us to form a partnership, to become one. There is a depth to the horse that I cannot find in other animals (living on land).

Most people seem to see the horse as a tool or machine. The horses are tacked up, gadget-ed up, often ridden by too heavy riders, insensitive riders, spoilt teenagers, forceful riders. Some get beaten up, some get severely neglected, some are being used again and again regardless of their pain, some are treated like pets, belittled, controlled, dominated, used, abused, misunderstood.

They could easily kill us with one kick if they wanted, yet they very rarely do.

They put up with use, they let us get close, again and again they try, they try to get us to listen. They give and give and give. And most of us NEVER say thank you. Do you realise the IMMEASURABLE GIFT offered to you by YOUR HORSE?

Everytime I see them in the mornings and evenings and sometimes in between, I am aware of this, more and more so. It's a sensation in my stomach, when I see their heads so kind and gently look out of their stable doors or when they come to say hello in the field, their heads down and their eyes warm and open, forever giving and forgiving for WE DO NOT KNOW BETTER, and THE HORSE knows that.

So then the least we can do is to care for it where it cannot. Be honest with your horse, don't pretend, don't emotionalise it (it doesn't understand), just be. Open up to your horse, let go of your thoughts and your intentions, be with your horse as one. And you will find that it will teach you so much about being alive, not about living, but about being.

That is their gift to us.

Nature's Glory

 Making you speechless ... at last

The above photograph I took 2 days ago - it was a beautiful day again and I was 'working my socks off' to get everything done at work so I could be at the stables for 15:30. There I grabbed 'Mr F' and we got to our sunset watching spot just in time for this display of indescribable beauty ... timeless, speechless, thoughtless ... only sensation. Even 'Mr F' watched now and then in between eating grass.

 'Mr F' in the early days of his career as an illumination ... a more up-to-date version is to follow soon. I will have to make something that highlights his body shape (not an exercise sheet though).