Beautiful Autumn

Out of the four seasons, my favourites are clearly Spring and Autumn.

After the long, cold and dark winter months, there is nothing more joyous than the scent of the first gut grass. Just like the scent of rain on hot summers day arrives before the rain as the wind carries it accross the landscape, so does the scent of freshly cut grass announce the arrival of spring. It doesn't take long before everything is bursting into life and the landscape becomes lush and the air is filled with the scent of all the blossom and flowers eagerly awaiting the visit of bees and other insects.

Similarly, when the days are drawing in quicker, suddenly there is the first scent of log and coal fires in the air, once more reminding us of the coming colder season. Autumn blesses us with a magnificent firework of colours, especially if the weather conditions have been right. It covers everything in a sea of golden colours as the leaves turn yellow, red and brown, before finally dying off to covering the ground with a insulating blanket, offering shelter for so many insects.

There is beautiful woodland nearby and the photos below were taken on 'Lillian's phone. I apologise for the quality but I thought I'd share them as it gives you an idea of the beautiful surroundings we are blessed to ride in.

A bit of a mix up as there were confusing instructions regarding our positioning for the planned group photograph ...

'Lillian's Partner 'Tom'

I, 'Tom' and a friend, 'D'.  Here I'd like to add the the horses weren't very keen on each other's company, hence the pinched back years half the time.

'Mr F' is as always on the looking out for the next adventure. He so greatly enjoys exploring woods like these, with overhanging branches, tree-roots and stones to climb over. The previous year he could barely manage an ordinary walk path without stumbling but he is slowly developing into a mountain 'goat'. 

On our way into position ... 'Mr F' quite fancies going down that hill ... (in the middle)

Finally, after much huh-ha we are kind of set ... except for the horses who don't get along with each other at all ... especially the two mares on either side of 'Mr F' are not on good terms here.  

The photos look very bright but it was the last of the sunshine of the day, the sun was about to settle behind the hills and it was getting cold quickly. 

We made our way back up the hill through the woods but did have a quick stop at the top to soak in the stunning views (of which I am yet to take a photograph!). Of course there had to be the obligatory  tipple, this time in shape of Gin and Tonic, kindly supplied by 'D'.

It was a welcome warmer as by now the sun had set and I had to make sure that 'Mr F' and I would get back before it was pitch black.

Cheers!

Things go 'Boo!' at night

 View over the countryside nearby

And so, as the summer comes to an end and the days are quickly drawing in. 'Mr F' and I have had several returns home in the dark.

Last winter I used to take 'Mr F' for walks in the dark, up in the open fields behind 'Buttercup Farm'. At first he was not so sure but quickly got used to it.

To ride with 'Lillian' we mostly rider over to hers, which in itself is already a good 30-40 minutes ride one way, depending on how fast we go. With the days now drawing in, 'Mr F' and 'I' quite regularily ride back to the 'Buttercup Farm' in the dark.

I enjoy riding in the dark and 'Mr F' is great about it. He bravely soldiers on when I ask him to, even though things can be a bit spooky. 

Having swapped the saddle for a bareback pad was the best decision I have made. 'Mr F's muscles have been developing nicely and in the right places. No longer is he front heavy and has now a quite nicely rounded bottom. His balance overall is so much better to what it was at the beginning, 2 years ago.

My sitting trott is slowly improving and I become more and more sensitive to his movements and he to mine. It really becomes effortless and sometimes we are almost one unit. My muscles also had to develop, mostly my core and leg muscles.

We did some cantering yesterday. Where as before I would always stand up in the saddle during canter, as I know ride without stirrups, I have to sit through any gait and canter is so very comfortable on  'Mr F'!

Our relationship seems to have become deeper since spring this year and it continues to grow.

Thanks, friend. :)

Enjoying Summer!

Yesterday 'Mr F' and 'I' once more rode over to the neighbouring village to meet up with  'Lillian' and Co - (Co being: 'Tom', one of the sensei's from our dojo, and another riding club member. 

The plan was to ride over to a village a little further away and to meet up with friends there in the pub. Much of the route was the same as on our Christmas ride. Except this time the ride was much more enjoyable as 'Mr F' does no longer go loopy if he is not at the front.

It was a very hot day and I could tell that 'Mr F' was struggeling a bit at first. But we took it quite slowly, partly also to be kind to his hoof with the crack. All went fine and as some of the group wanted to go and canter, they took a different route. I am under instructions not to travel at high speeds because of the position and depth of that crack so as not to put strain on the hoof wall.

'Lillian' and I made our own way to the pub because the others wanted to canter. On the way there we had to cross a small stream. 'Mr F' refused to walk through it even though I tried for ages all kind of tactics. Then suddenly he decided to jump accross it!  Both myself and 'Mr F' were probably equally surprised at this as he had to think about it for a bit afterwards.

Surprisingly I found the jumping motion very easy without stirrups and I did not feel out of balance at any point. After this he was in high spirits and was up for anything, despite the heat!

We arrived at the pub were we met up with non-horsey friends and the rest of our group which got lost under the leadership of 'Tom' and they arrived quite a  bit later. Of course horses in a pub always attract a crowd: 'Oh my daughter loves horses, can she stroke one of yours it?' etc etc ... perhaps we could put out a money box: 'One stroke 50p ... '   Just kidding!

On the way back we got caught out by thunderstorms with quite heavy rain. But each rain shower was followed by warm sunshine, just enough to dry out in between.

When we reached 'Lillians' village,  'Mr F' and I separated and made our way home on our own once again. I enjoy my rides out with just 'Mr F'.  

 We had to ride through yet another thunderstorm but this time we stopped to watch it. In the midst of the heavy rain, surrounded by thunder and lightning,  'Mr F' ate grass without a care in the world, while I had the pleasure of observing a stunning display of lighting. A timeless moment!

'Mr F' August 2015 - trusted companion - somehow knows me too well!

Through the Quarry

As all of 'Lilian's  horses are still at hers I continue riding out with 'Mr F' on my own, either to meet others or just on our own.

On Sunday we rode over to 'Lillians' to meet up with her, 'Tom' and some riding club members. This time our route would take us through a quarry.  The start of the route took us past 'Lillian's partner's yard and the fields nearby - next to the road - are home of serval pigs. As we have been on this route quite a few times in the past, 'Mr F' is now coping well with the pigs and the smell of it.

Once we reached the quarry, 'Lillian' decided to try a different route, which was supposedly a bridle path. Well, I don't think anyone in their right mind would have gone down that path as it was unkept, very mudy and at places rather tricky to deal with for our horses. I decided it to be only fair to get off to make it easier for 'Mr F' to navigate this rather tricky path - which was difficult even for me.

It was very stoney and steep downhill and I began to worry about 'Mr F's balance but he coped perfectly. Although he was a little slow because he took special care to think about where to place his legs and body. As an ex-racehorse, this isn't something he was used to doin back in his days.

All the walking has helped to improve 'Mr F's leg muscles and his balance is much much better nowadays. It was very interesting to see his facial expressions while he was trying to figure out what to do with his legs.

I noticed that he was following me and would choose the same route and I had to think carefully and choose a route that he could follow. Somehow, all sense of self-preservation seems to dissapear when he is in my company.

At last the path came to an end and we were back on a 'plain' foot/bridlepath.


We arrived at a country pub where we met 'Lady Jane' and her friend (both on horseback) so we stopped there for a while before moving on to the next pub. On the way home, 'Mr F' and I separated early from the rest as they had a different route home to ours.

The point of separatin was near 'Tom's yard, which meant that 'I' and 'Mr F' needed to pass the pigs, the farm and all the gamebirds on our own. He didn't care much about the pigs but he did get a little worried about the tractor. But what he really couldn't cope with was the shrieking sound of some of the gamebirds who were being fed just behind the wall. 'Mr F' couldn't see them and he just couldn't make sense of it all. As there was a bit of traffic on this lane I got off 'Mr F' to lead him past the birds but making sure to stop long enough until he accepted the noise.

I think sometimes it is just better to get off rather than being forceful. It was easier for me to give him time to observe what upset him while being on the ground. This way we didn't stop the traffic and had all the time we needed for 'Mr F' to get used to the birds.  He had been a star on the entire ride and I didn't want it to end with a unpleasant memory for 'Mr F'.

On The Road Again - And A Tumble

The crack in 'Mr F's front right hoof has become worse again. It is however not infected but the hard ground has put additional stress on the hoof wall, resulting in the crack opening up again.

I was adviced by our barefoot trimmer that I should not trott or anything faster if on hard ground. It would be fine to do so on soft ground for a short time (such as a menage).

The barefoot lady has very kindly left me with a rasp and instructions so I can trim 'Mr F's hooves in between her visists (which are in an 5 week interval). This means I have to keep the sides of the crack rounded so that there is no sharp edges he can catch on. I suppose its a bit like a 'Mustang Roll'.

'Mr F' has had a break of approximately 1.5 weeks and now it was time to take him out again. I miss the riding and I could tell that he was quite keen on going further than just the usual walks (on lead rope).

The sensei of our dojo had ridden in the past so he 'borrowed' a horse from a riding club member to go on a ride with 'Lillian'.

I and 'Mr F' were to join them, which meant that I had to rider over to hers on my own with 'Mr F'.   The ride from 'buttercup farm' over to 'Lillian' normally takes about half an hour (some trotting included), depending on the route.

'Mr F' and I have not been out on our own for some time (months) and so I prepared to have at least twice the time, just in case 'Mr F' wasn't wanting to leave the yard in a hurry. A year ago I did have my fair share of struggles with that.

I was looking forward to the evening though, another member of our Aikido Dojo was to meet us in the pub in 'Lillian's village. The weather was lovely and warm but with useful breeze to keep the flies at bay.

Tacked up and ready to go, I proceeded to mount and was prepared for some discussions with 'Mr F' because I thought he may not want to leave the yard. If I lead him, he is fine going anywhere but doing the same sat on him is a different story, or used to be so far. I can only guess that he isn't trusting me quite enough as a rider.

But to my very surprise, there were no discussions to be had! 'Mr F' cheerfully went on his way down the lane and was cool and relaxed all the way over to 'Lillian'. He didn't even argue when we had to go past the caravn site which was quite loud and there were all kind of strange 'things' on the green. 

And then there was a steam rally going on nearby and we had to pass some of those vehicles, too. Again, 'Mr F' did it all very bravely.

Once I had arrived at 'Lillians' place we waited for our riding companions to tack up and then went on our way.  

It was a lovely, straight forward ride. Mostly walk. Except for one bit when 'Mr F' decided he did afterall remember that he was a race horse ... it was in an open field, going up hill.

By this time the other's were a little ahead and I was leaning forward a little to check if 'Mr F's hoof boots were still in place.

Meanwhile the others decided to have a little canter and 'Mr F' decided he wasn't having any of that and that it was time to be at the front!  I was still bending forward looking at his hoof boots when 'Mr F' decided it's now time to canter. Needless to say, I was about to be able to examine these boots very close up! Of course I lost my balance and found myself on the soft grass, wondering what just happened.

'Mr F' didn't go far, he just wanted to be in front of the others and the field was enclosed by fencing anyway. He did give a bit of a look though when I caught up with him, leaving me wonder if I may have just taught him that he can rid of me. Although its not really in his nature to do that. He had many chances before and never made use of them.

We met up with our b-day Aikidoka in the pub and enjoyed a couple of beers. We all had a lovely time. With the days shortening it eventually time for me and 'Mr F' to make our way home before it was too dark.

'Mr F' behaved impecably on the way home! I could not have had a more safe 'escort'. He was very smug and pleased with himself when we returned home. 

And I was once again immensly proud of 'Mr F'!

 'Hmmm ... where should I go ...'

 ... 'I could go and eat some grass along the drive? Or I could go and see where the ponies are ... '

But I did not have the time that morning to let him wander around  freely so he had to go back into the stable with the girls ... "Alright ... if I MUST go back in there ... pfft"

A beautiful day out

Together with  'Lillian', 'Tom' (her partner) a friend of 'Lillian' we made use of the wonderful weather and decided to travel a bit further afield so that the horses see new surroundings. They always perk up quite a bit when seeing new scenery, especially 'Mr F' seems to loose years when taking new routes.

We travelled in the big horse lorry, offering room for 3 horses. Last time 'Mr F' travelled in that vehicle he was very upset and anxious upon arrival. I guess he still thought: 'Ok, where is the start line! I need to win this race!' Perhaps that is one of the reasons why 'Mr F' also has been sweating up each time he has travelled in a trailer or lorry.

This time however, even though it was a warm summers day, there was not a single bit of sweat on him! He was a star loading - he was the last one to be loaded so he had to try and fit his long body up the ramp and around a very tight corner. He just did not know how to do, his body is so long. But throught all the shuffling and trying to get him to move his back end into his 'compartment', 'Mr F' remained totally calm but did give me the look of 'Look, I really don't know how to move my body to fit into this gap!' So we swapped places with the horse in the middle and all were happy.

While on route, I spent some time with the three horses in the back just to check on them. They looked very relaxed and where munching their hay. It is still baffling me how much they trust us ... a pray animal that by free will enteres such an enclosed area and then also copes with the rattling and shaking of the trailer / lorry itself and all the traffic noise which they cannot even see. This alone make me feel humble because these wild and beautiful beings are so willing to cooperate with us and going along with the strangest of things, completely against their nature.

Upon arrival we unloaded the horses and there still was not a single bit of sweat on 'Mr F'.

He was calm, listened to me and behaved impecably - this was a first!

Among the four of us we shared a bottle of 'Lillian's home made strawberry wine - nothing can beat it!

The route we took was interesting and in parts quite challenging for me riding with the bareback pad. It was a excellent excersise in building up my balance and all the muscles that have to flex and move and switch. A fair amount was downhill on a stoney path and under very low overgrowth. Due to 'Mr F's height I had to bend forward hugging his neck and trust him to find the way, while the branches were scraping over my helmet and back ...

And so I got used to sitting trott in all kind of strange positions and 'Mr F' didn't complain once.

'Lillian' and her friend wanted to do some longer stretches of cantering for which I was not yet ready. Therefore 'Mr F' and I went ahead on our own for a bit. But as we were reaching a lovely flat field I couldn't help but to give it a go, just the two of us. It was beautiful! However, it is a new gait for without stirrups and I have to learn to feel it so I am more secure.

Although it wasn't a very long ride  (just 2 hours) it was a physically challenging one because of the very varied terrain and me adjusting to it constantly.

Overall it was a fantastic ride and a steep learning curve for me as a stirrup-less rider.

'Mr F' was very pleased and had his smug face on when back at home.

Times flies

Between trying to earn a living, spending time with 'Mr F' and Aikido there is no much time to write posts. I make notes in a little notebook and perhaps in winter, with the shorter days, I can catch up on all that I am observing and learning.

But lets not talk about winter just yet and enjoy the currently nice and mostly dry summer weather!

'Mr F' and I have been out and about regularily and he generally enjoys going out, albeit he prefers new surroundings rather than the same old.

His left knee is still a slightly different shape and I believe this will remain so, maybe it is afterall early signs of arthritis. As long as I keep an eye on it and keep him moving but in a gentle manner he hopefully should remain without great discomfort.  I don't think he feels any discomfort as such, but he seems to stumble more on that side.

The reason for not posting for some time is due to quite big changes in my personal life, but they are all for the good and am beginning to feel much more at peace with myself even though at this moment in time everything is chaotic.

Aikido is very much a main part of my life now. I learn from both immensely, about myself, about life and all that is within. It is interesting that I notice that 'Mr F' and I seem to be on a different level in terms of communication. The recent changes in my life and decisions have freed up much inside myself and therefore I am probably more relaxed and content. 'Mr F' seems to notice this and he is behaving a little different to before. Much of the communication between myself and 'Mr F' is nowadays without words.

For now, let us enjoy the still long summer evenings!

 Not a worry in the world ... 'Bailey' and 'Mr F'.

 It's a hard life being a horse ... 'Bailey' dozing while leaning against the gate post ...

... while 'Mr F' is finishing off his early breakfast ... 

 If I and 'Mr F' don't go out riding we go out walking (flies allowing!), and the cows always show great interest in 'Mr F'.

 Mr or Mrs Fox ...

 A temporary guest ... 'Blue' ... doing what one does on a early summer's morning

 

 'Princess Leia' - 'DV' - 'Sammy' - 'Topsy' (lying down) - and 'Blue' in the front

'Twix' the farm cat - never far when I am outside

Polo - Eye opening and inspiring

Copying what I wrote on the riding club's blog:

"Naturally, we started with a pint in the club's bar. Yes, possibly not a wise thing in this heat but it sure helped us along!

As a few of use had never played polo before we did some training in the barn with small polo mallets so we could learn the motion.

Once we had a basic idea how to swing the mallet (one must never hit the horse!) we were then each assigned our mounts. All mounted and ready to go, we proceeded to the huge polo field where we all were shown some basic 'warming up' excersises. It is sure handy if one has good balance!

I was completely overwhelmed by how well trained the horses in this club where! So very soft in the mouth and very responsive to the weight distribution of the rider. Therefore it was very easy to 'connect' with the horse, although I am speaking for myself here really but I hope we all felt this. Because both horse and rider have the same goal in mind (the horse is trained for this sport and so knows what it has to do) it allows for a great connection, making rider and horse one. This in turn allows one's concentration to focused on handling the polo mallet and the gameplay. I repeat again: I was very taken by the willingness of the horse to connect with a rider it did not know and actually in my case, visa versa. There was a great sense of purpose, of 'getting a job done'. Very different to 'just' hacking out.

Therefore, from a riding point of view, to just being able to experience this 'connection' is worth giving polo a try. I don't know if all clubs have such well trained horses but I do sure hope so.

It was also fascinating that the horses would be very hesitant joining a 'crowd' (which does happen with a bunch of over eager and excitet polo beginners!) and yet would need hardly any encouraging as soon as they see the ball roll in front of them in the open field. I dare say it was similar to a dog wanting to chase the ball ... really quite something else!"

A New Arrival - 'Bailey'

'Mr F' and I have been able to start going out again, his knee seems better. There still is something not quite right as he does struggle going downhill, he hasn't had this problem for a long time.

Hopefully I manage to get Neill to come again to have a look at him. The knee is still not quite the right shape but it doesn't seem to bother him; he doesn't show signs of lameness nor does he otherwise show discomfort. So, perhaps the downhill issue originates from somewhere else in his body.

The misshapen knee I can only put down to two things: either first signs of arthritis or perhaps he did knock it and chipped a bit of bone. I have two spots on my body where this happened to me and those areas have ever since been slightly differently shaped but are not causing any discomfort.

There is a new arrival at 'Buttercup Farm' - 'Bailey'. Another of 'Lillian's horses. 'Bailey' has various behaviour issues so I am told.  He is coming to 'Buttercup Farm' like all the other 'difficult cases,  it is safe environment to work with them and they all seem to relax very quickly and settle in.

Bailey is an interesting character; his problem is that he is quite insecure, which shows itself in all kinds of forms. He has been here for a week and 'Lillian' and I have already seen some improvements.  'Mr F' is of course once again the perfect 'Babysitter'. 'Bailey' is a very affectionate horse and he currently is literally stalking humans when they go into his field (predominantly me). He wants to know exactly what is going on and why. He is very inquisitive and oddly enough has an overly keen interest in going into spaces, such as the back entrance (!) of 'Buttercup Farm' or any of the stables,  trailer etc ...

Handsome 'Bailey'

'Mr F' meanwhile is looking better than ever. His body shape has changed and he looks stronger, fitter and is very content with me lately. In the old days we had various discussions (bordering on arguments ...) about all kinds of things but now I feel he has finally accepted me as the one to follow and doesn't question it anylonger, or certainly a lot less. I am greateful for each day I have him around me. Its only been 2 years but it feels like he has been with me for a lifetime. He is a wise gentleman ...

'Mr F' trimming the hedges ...

Meanwhile I am continuing my Aikido practise twice a week and am more and more attracted to it. It is definitely a route to self discovery.

More Downtime - More Aikido thoughts (so much about 'no mind')

'Mr F's knee is still a little swollen and there is some heat. 'Lillian' thought that it could perhaps be an disfigurement caused by arthritis. 

I did discuss it with the barefoot trimmer lady who is overall quite knowledgable regarding horses' health and she thinks it is more likely that  'Mr F' banged his knee somewhere. It occured to sudden to be arthritis.

If it does not dissapear by the end of this week I will need to call our Vet. However, I do really not like the thought of having to give medication, should that be required. We have to see.

'Mr F' seems not too bothered about it. He is not lame as such but if one looks carefully, he is stepping on that leg a little tenderly.

As I do not know how or when (or even IF) he banged his knee it is difficult to tell whether he actually chipped some bone. Although he doesn't mind me touch it.

Until I know what is going on with the knee, we'll be spending time on the ground again. I said it many times before, I equally enjoy time on the ground. We often go into the fields behind the farm and enjoy the beautiful views and of course the grass.

Talking Aikido (again!): I have now started training twice a week, and would prefer even 3 times.

Last night's practise was yet another personal breakthrough for me! And here we are with that mind again. This is where all the trouble starts, with me anyway. Too much in my head, too much 'now do this, now do that' ... to much of 'left foot here, right foot there'. And most of all: too much interuption when training with a partner. Not enough time to get settled with the 'new feel' that we get with each training partner. Some light, some heavy, some stiff, some not so, some harsh, some gentle, some moody / grumpy, some light hearted. I take all this in and together with my own voices in my head making me having very high expectations of myself (which has always been a problem all my life), I was once more stiff like a statue and frustrated.

The only way around it is to let go of everything. But well, you seen into how much detail I go with everything ... not thinking is for me a heck of a challenge! Yet I think it is the only way forward in Aikido ... and I am beginning to think this also applies to life, to everything.

Up until this last nights practise I often blamed others for not being able to train properly or if 'it' (Aikido) didn't work. 'Well he/she isn't in the right position' or 'he/she is too stiff' and so on and so froth. Where as in fact it was ME, my own expectations, my own negative thoughts and my own lack of being attentive because too much stuff from my personal life was also clinging on to my mind.

I have to let go of it ... somehow.

Short ride in saddle - More Aikido Thoughts

I was offering to assist 'Lady Jane' in getting her horse 'Madame' and 'Princess Leia' back to her own place.

I have said before that I do not enjoy riding a horse that I have not spent some time with before hand. But as I have been feeding and mucking out both the above mentioned horses I got to know especially 'Madam' pretty well, at least on the ground.

I have not sat in a saddle for nearly 2 months now and was wondering what it might feel like. I did not actually look forward to it but then again I was just too curious to say 'no'.

We tacked up and proceeded to mount. One benefit of a saddle: getting on is just a little more easy. I am just 5" and 'Mr F' is over 16hands. 'Madame' is quite a bit smaller all around.

As soon as I sat in the saddle I noticed that it was very uncomfortable. I missed the movemet beneath me. However, the stirrups did no longer irritate me too much as I did not care about them anylonger.

This showed me that, prior to my starting bareback riding, I was relying on the stirrups for balance, which is why I never felt comfortable.

Now that I have learnt to have a very centered seat and a relaxed body while keeping a strong core, riding with the saddle felt so so very easy!  'DV' is known to be a bit of a 'jogger' ... she likes to go and needs hardly any encouragement. I have ridden her 5 times before and quite often it would be hard work to hold her back..

This time was totally different.  We did a fair amount of trotting and where as in the old days I would fight for balance in the stirrups, this time rising trott was so easy ... it just was one beautiful flow of motion. On previous rides on 'Madame' I experienced her as choppy and very stiff, I guess it was me!

She was beautiful to ride and very attentive to any of my aids. I hardly needed the reins. She reacted very well to my seat and she did not do her usual jogging.

Also: sitting trott with stirrups is alot easier than without I discovered ...

But overall I missed the direct contact. The saddle itself was very uncomfortable for me and I felt my movement was restricted by the high pommel and canter and the knee rolls.

All in all I was very surprised just how differently I was within myself as a rider. This short time of me riding with the bareback pad made a huge difference to my balance, my posture and I am learning to move with the horse, as one rather than two separate bodies.  It doesn't always go smoothly of course, it all depends on my mind and how complicated I am making it for myself.

And talking of mind: I am beginning to realise more and more that Aikido is about our state of mind. I am not actually learning a great deal physically, if anything that part is just too confusing with contradictory teaching and often very frustrating. That is one of the reasons why 'Lillian' has quit the classes.

There also have been occasions where there had been dismissive reactions by the instructors or even fellow aikidoka on the mat, in response to our inability to perform as expected. That part I am finding fairly irritating, too and it is unecessary because it will make people uncomfortable. In fact I felt there was a fair amount of snobbery about it all.

Some time ago I was a music teacher for a good 4 years (saxophone - but I played other instruments). I remember well that I noticed that I was learning something new with every beginner. Just because I am teaching does not mean I know everything. But more: every new student was a gift because it is someone that comes to me, trusting me and being completely open upening up as they don't yet have any knowledge.

When 'Lillian', 'I' and 'Tom' started with our Aikido training, we arrived on the mat, not having a single clue and we were open to receive input. We trusted (or wanted to trust) the instructior. But we soon realised that very often, our efforts were being dismissed as kind of 'insuficient' and if someone was a particularily 'slow to get it' type, he/she would notice this sometimes in a more painful manner. This in turn doesn't leave a basis for trust and although it was a pity that 'Lillian' didn't want to continue, I fully understood why.

I myself was very close of quitting but still felt this pull (just like it was and still is with 'Mr F') to continue as my gut instict told me I had to learn something here. Something about myself.

'Lillian' and I are jokingly calling it 'thearapy group' ... each time we feel as though we entered yet  deeper into our minds ...

Lets hope 'Mr F's knee is getting better as I already miss riding with him.

More thoughts: Bareback Riding / Aikido

Reminder for myself:

Started riding in August 2013.

Started riding bareback in March 2015

Started Aikido in March 2015

Now that we (I and 'Mr F') have working hoof boots again we go out more and for longer distances.

Since changing to the bareback bad I had to restart my riding as it is quite different to riding with stirrups.  I am very pleased that I made this decission and I doubt (never say never) I will go back to riding with a saddle again with 'Mr F'.

Although physcially much more demanding from the core down it is a much more intimate way of riding. Any tiny move of my seat results in a reaction from 'Mr F' - although a fair amount of which is him saying 'Oh just sit still.'  - 'NO, that is NOT comfortable for me!' etc etc.

But as the time progresses I am becoming more sensitive to feeling what is going on underneath me. Even his breathing I can feel. We rode past some pigs the other evening (most horses seem to HATE pigs - I guess it's an old memory of the wild boar?) and even before I could see the pigs I could feel 'Mr F's breathing change just very slightly; more sharp and short, just a few seconds before the rest of him would react.

I discover all these little things which make bareback riding so very beautiful and uniting. 'Mr F' is also becoming more sensitive, I require less and less effort with my aids (unless of course he fancies spooking about something, which is rare nowadays). Much of the directional aids I can do with my seat, rarely needing the reins and the list of improvements goes on.

'Mr F' is clearly much happier since we started riding without saddle. Partly because it is more comfortable for him too now, but also because I am becoming a rider that he finds easier to understand. Not even 2 years ago, when I started riding, I couldn't even get him to turn left or right in the menage! Going trough all the different stages on our journey together we both have also developed together.

But of course not everything about the bareback riding smells of roses ...

My main troubles still lie with the sitting trott. Although I am now able to do it at slow speed without bouncing, it is an entirely different thing all together when trotting at high speed in groups of others when out on a hack.

It becomes a problem if I tense up. For example: in transition from walk to trott, if I do not get the timing right I bounce straight away and of course then tense up; which makes it even worse. And because everything happens so fast there is no time to think my way out of it. The only way I can overcome the bouncing is by letting go completely (be loose, be free, be without fear of any kind) feel and learning which parts of the body I need to move. It is without doubt the most uncomfortable gait. We did a tiny bit of canter on a ride the other day and boy, what a difference!

But most of all I am wanting to concentrate on being free, mentally and therefore physically. Free from my mind, to just be in the moment. Forgetting about the day, about things that annoyed me, forget about not doing it right, don't even think 'I should do this and that' ... if I think I am already behind. Its so difficult to explain. But if I can reach this mental state, the body will know what to do while riding.

Just like Aikido. In the short time since I began to practise Aikido, it has already helped me a HUGE amount, not necessarily physically, but mentally. It is really a matter of mind, or to be more precise, a matter o NO MIND.

A proper boot test - A group ride and a calm 'Mr F'!

On bank  holiday monday we decided to join up with 'Lady Jane' over at her home and do a ride around the area. It would be completely new surroundings for 'Mr F' and I know he enjoys exploring new places.

After various delays we finally set off at 11:30. The traffic was quite bad but both boys were travelling well. I was very pleased to noticed that for the first time 'Mr F' did not sweat up as he usually does.

We unloaded the boys and 'Mr F' did fidget about a bit but nothing like he used to. He even stood still while taking off his travel boots. We were due to meet up with 'Lady Jane'. And promptly, from a distance, we heard horses approach. Horses? I thought it was just 'Lady Jane' joining us. This didn't sound like just one horse, this was at least 3. It turned out it to be 4, including 'Lady Jane'.



'Oh great' I though ... 'another complicated ride'!  I have still the memory of that Christmas ride where I had my hands full trying to keep 'Mr F' from wanting to 'win the race'. I sat in that saddle for hours while he was jogging most of the way, throwing his head around. Not something I fancied again; I was hoping I could teach him in a more relaxed environment that groups of horses don't mean 'its a race and I have to win!'.

But more: I hadn't been on a group ride with the bareback pad and I really didn't fancy hours of jogging! 

'Mr F' of course saw the other horses approach and was getting a bit giddy. Meanwhile I was trying to keep my temper which was already flaring up. 'Why didn't they tell me that this was a group ride!'

While my mind was busy making a noise and coming up with all kinds of worst case scenarios, I wasn't with the moment for one split second. This was long enough for 'Mr f' to give me a real good kick to the side of my thigh while I was about to take off his back travel boot.  It was both our fault: his for his unruley behaviour and mine for my ignorance of the situation and not recognising what was about to happen. It wouldn't have taken much for me to tell him to stop, he is quite good at listening if I have had enough! 

Luckily he had the hoof boots on, else I would have come off a little worse. I always approache a horse sideways when having to deal with their hind legs,  just in case. And then I go very close so that I can feel their muscles move prior to the kick and either prevent it or get out the way.

I may not be big and tall but I have a fair amount of muscle which were protecting my leg. It did not hurt ... yet but I knew it would the next day.


We mounted and joined the others. I did ask if it was ok if I could go at the front; hoping that 'Mr F' would be more relaxed about it this way because I needed to find a moment for both of to relax and to  'reset' our frame of mind. For a moment my thoughts wandered back to Aikido and having no mind (no thoughts). I couldn't exactly calm down but at least my anger eased off and I was able to be somewhat switch into a 'neutral' mind frame. Not quiet, but even leveled. That's better than being hot tempered! 'Mr F' seemed to experience something similar because he too suddenly was very calm.

And surprisingly, against all the worst case scenarios I had had at the start, he remained calm throughout most of the ride.  There were a few moments when we were at the back or in the middle of the small pack and he would go a little giddy but again nothing like he used to.

In fact we all were very surprised at just how relaxed as he was on this ride (They had all seen me struggle with 'Mr F' on previous group rides).

The ride also turned out to be a good test for the new set of hoof boots, particuarlily on the way back. 'Lillian' and I did the ride back without the others who were taking the fast (canter) route. The route took us up a very steep, grassy and bumpy hill side. I did get off and walked a good part of it to make it easier for 'Mr F'.  However, more surprises for me: he was hardly out of breath! He marched up that hill with ease! Neill's work sure is making a difference to his breathing.


Looking back there are several factors I think which were contributing to 'Mr F's relaxed state:
- No irritating hoof boots
- No irritating saddle (in the old days he would walk away as soon as I appeared with any saddle)
- Neill's work which with no doubt has addressed some core issues that bothered 'Mr F'
- The relgular lessons with Rupert working on the contact

'Mr F' is learning that I am no longer a push-over and our mostly good relationship is helping too, making 'Mr F' more willing / interested in listen to my 'ideas' of how things could be done. But he is a very headstrong horse and pretty much knows what he wants so we do have a fair share of lets call it 'discussions'.

But at the end of the day, he is my teacher, in so many ways - exactly because of the fact that he is such a strong character; and he does challenge me regularily. This keeps me on my toes and and wanting to work on this partnership. We are getting closer to a 'lets do this together' atmosphere between the two of us. Well, appart from that kick earlier, I guess I'll be nicely blue and red tomorrow morning. I may struggle in tomorrows Aikido class ... 

Full set of working hoof boots! No twisting, no slipping.

Hinds ... 

fronts ...

Finally Boots That Are Made For Walking

After over a year of testing with different hoof boots - we have finally found a set for all 4 legs that work: Easyboot Glove.

We didn't get on with the renegade hoof boots sadly. We had a full set but they just twisted, no matter what I tried and if we would go through deep mud they would come off quite regularily. I am not really sure why. I watched all their videos on fitting, on adjusting etc etc. And although it is a fantastic boot, it didn't work for us.

I was becoming tired of getting off on each ride to adjust or collect hoof boots that had come loose. And it is quite tiresome for any other riders that come along because they have to stop and wait for me. But mostly it is a bother for 'Mr F'.

A bit at a loss with regards to boots I suddenly thought: hang on, he had easyboot glove boots on his hinds and I stopped using them because they twisted. Boots usually twist if they don't fit so I best go and measure his hooves again. Very stupidly, I hadn't measured them for nearly 8 months and just assumed they would still be the same size.

Well, not so. I went to measure 'Mr F's hooves it turned out that they have become smaller all around. I noticed that the easyboot gloves he had for his back hooves now would fit his fronts (except for being a little too long) and I was only guessing that the reason they no longer worked on his hind legs was because they now were just too big.

I tried the easyboots on 'Mr F's fronts and took him for a walk up into that little bit of wooded area where the terrain is quite up and down and full with obstacles (treeroots, stones, etc). The boots stayed on but did twist a little and I knew why they twisted: they were a little too long.

Back home I went about with fixing the twisting issue by glueing a piece of easyboot pads on the inside of the back of the boot, taking care not to get clue onto the screw fitting.

I let it dry overnight and the next day 'Lillian' and I went on a quick test ride. It seemed to work! With these good news, I went hunting for a 2nd hand pair for his back hooves. Luckily there was a pair online. When they arrived I tried them on and they seemed to fit fine.

We went for another test ride but the back boots still seemed a problem even with the one size smaller boots. Then I realised that I needed to make some inserts for these boots too, to correct the slightly too long issue (talking about 5-6mm). 

Another test ride, and this time no more twisting or slipping boots! We even went through thick mud and no problems at all! 

What a relief!

2nd Visit by Neill Saunders

Neill Saunders ... a rather interesting individual. His work is unique. I admit that at first I was a little apprehensive.

Some people call him the 'body whisperer'. I can see why.

Neill's first visit in March was interesting and I did notice a change in 'Mr F's movements, especially his back, which was one of my concerns with 'Mr F'. Although Neill spent over an hour working on 'Mr F', the last bit of doubt in my mind had yet to be removed. I couldn't deny that there were positive changes in 'Mr F' and so I decided to let him come again to do some further work.

This time I asked him to specifically check out the girthing area. 'Mr F' has always been extremely tender when being girthed up. This has improved with the bareback pad but is still a bother to him. Also grooming in that area would irritate him quite a bit.

Neill spent a long time investigating and 'feeling' the area where I said the problem was. 'Mr F' reacted very strongly to what Neill was doing and I had to go in between or else Neill would have been bitten once or twice.  Then, after some considerable time, Neill stopped and told me that 'Mr F's  lungs appear to have been compromised, some long time ago. He said that this may have been either through a fall or through over girthing - 'Mr F' bein an ex-racehorse, this could be very likely.

There are several parts of the lung and Neill felt that it wasn't moving freely and the area around it was very tense. Neill continued working on this area in his own almost invisible manner. Suddenly, 'Mr F' did a big sigh and looked very releaved. Neill and I both decided to leave that area for now so 'Mr F' can get used to the changes and that we would get back to it the next time.

Appart from further work on his back, Neill also worked on 'Mr F's hind legs. The thighs to be more specific - flank/stiffle area. He discovered that there was a small muscle that was very tense which was causing 'Mr F' to stand a little crooked which I had noticed too many times. 'Mr F' was very reactive here too and attempted to kick Neill a couple of times. But I had a few gentle words and Neill persevered. And again, suddenly there was relief on 'Mr F's face, shuffeled around a little and now stood completely square and relaxed.

This was enough changes to the body for one session. 'Mr F' needed some time now to get used to the changes and so we planned on further treatement in about 2-3 months time.

I did take 'Mr F' for a short ride (30mins at most) the day after but he very uncomfortable and continued 'blowing'. He did this for nearly 3 days. I began to be a little concerned as I didn't know what it could be. It couldn't have been the hay as he gets his hay soaked well to remove any dust. I decided not to ride 'Mr F' for a bit and instead walk and trott him up in the fields on the lead rope.

He was also quite sore in his hinds for a few days. I was assuming that this was because he had to get used to the changes in his body.

Then, 4 days after Neill had been, I noticed 'Mr F' suddenly being able to move with his hinds much quicker than normal. He was able to turn around ever so quickly to get into position for his food bowl which I deliberately placed so he had to turn. No longer were his moves of a rather robotic quality!

And when I took him on a ride I noticed that he had stopped blowing his nose and that his breathing had become free and effortless (where as before there was a little wheezing every  now and then). And this I could clearly feel underneath me when I rode him up in the field! 

He also was less sensitive when girthing up. Of course: the lungs are exactly where the girth goes!! It all suddenly fell into place and made sense. I had no idea until I met Neill.

After this 2nd visit any doubts I may have had were removed as I can clearly see the effect it had on 'Mr F'. And it wasn't just wishful thinking. 'Mr F' was sure much happier with his lot.

'Mr F' knows the way to the 'kitchen' ... 

Earlier this morning: 

'Mr F' is allowed to roam around freely when no-one else is in the yard. He loves it and it makes him part of what is going on. We know each other well enough and he won't go far anyway. While I went indoors to get a cup of tea he made his way up the yard. 

 Me: 'Hey, you are not going to sneak up there again to steal the food, are you!?'

'Mr F' looking turning his head and looking at me as if tho say: 'Who, me? Never! I wasn't going to go up these steps and steal the food that you prepared up there around the corner ... I'd never do that ...'  

(Yes you DO ... and last time it took me some time to get you back down those steps because the other way out was blocked at the time.)

Week 7 Bareback pad - Week 4 Aikido

4th Aikido Class. 'Lillian' could not partake as she has a stiff neck (possibly trapped nerve, we don't know yet).

This time the class was headed by a different instructor. 

We practised some basic body moves; walking on your knees, forward rolling (break falls), etc etc. It was interesting to observe the other Aikidokas, some seem remarkably stiff even though they have been doing this for some time. 

But talking of which: I myself was once again like a statue, at least that is how I felt inside. My mind was just constatnly interferring and I go completely blank when it comes to where to put my feet, my hands and how do I do that technique and 'how do I do this and that'?

 

I need to explain a little here about the class structure:

Once we have done our warm ups, the sensei chooses an UKE (training partner to receive the technique, the 'attacker') so that he can show us some technique that we are supposed to copy. 

Now with this I do struggle. What happens when the UKE doesn't know what to do, such as myself? What if UKE doesn't attack as shown or doesn't react as shown at the front of the class? Surely, this will mean that TORE would need to use a different technique ... but then: what is the point in showing us a technique in the first place?

How is this supposed to work? It's all well if Tori (the person doing the defending, I.E. the one doing the technique) knows what he/she is doing. So, if I as UKE don't know what I am supposed to do or how to place my body, then surely TORE won't be able to do what was shown at the front of the class - unless he/she uses force.

But I wonder: shouldn't TORE be able to deal with whatever I can offer? Because I don't know anything yet so I will never be in the right position for them to do the technique as shown.

It didn't make sense at all.

At this stage my mind has had it! It was in overdrive, full with confusing input from everyone in the room (often contradictory) and I had lost it. I decided that I didn't have a single clue about this still, even after 4 weeks. I had absolutely NO IDEA, except that Aikido seemed to be teaching me something else ... something about myself. It certainly told me that I have to stick my ego somewhere else ... where the light don't shine! 

Oddly enough, I didn't really think that anyone in the Dojo knew what they were doing but instead were still searching, albeit at different stages. Interesting!  It had got me hooked for sure but not for the reasons that made me take up Aikido in the first place.

It left me with the same gut instinct as I have each time I am with 'Mr F' ... something is telling me something ... and I am not really listening.

I think I have to do some more reading up on this ...

But to go back to the riding. It was time for another lesson with 'Rupert'.

'Mr F' and 'I'  wandered over to the menage quite ahead of time. There is a nice bit of grass on the way and I wanted to stop there so 'Mr F' could spend some relaxing time a little bit of the juicy spring grass while I was enjoying a carrot.

Lessons with 'Rupert' are certainly fun. I guess for him I am probably a bit of a difficult case as I do question everything and come up with my own solutions (which of course are not always right!).

But he got used to this by now and we do get on well and laugh about silly things. No matter what mood he (and he can be very moody!) or I are in, I feel comfortable. 

'Mr F' and I haven't been out on the roads much lately because his hoof boots are suddenly twisting very badly and just won't stay on, despite my best efforts to find a solution. But the fields behind the farm are great to use as a open space menage. It does have livestock in it but there is plenty of room for us all and the calves and 'Mr F' are accustomed to one another.

I spent considerable time up there trying to ride 'Mr F' just with leg aids. It took us some time and I was once more grateful for this communication breakdown we had last summer: it taught be much about timing - timing in terms of when to praise. This I come to realise, is so very important. 

Everything we do with a horse, every minute we spend with them, we teach them something. Good or bad. I will never forget this because of all the mistakes I made last summer.

After about a week of testing to ride with just leg aids, 'Mr F' had become very responsive, which was noticed in the lesson.

We didn't work much on sitting trott though. I am having a bit of an issue with this now, in my mind. Just like I did with improvisation when I played instruments ... the mind kept giving negative imput and was stopping us from being.

I was hoping we would just do some pole work in walk but 'Rupert' wouldn't let me get away with it. 'Come on ... get that horse moving. Give it some leg, time for some more sitting trott. I should really make you do this for 30 minutes non-stop. That'll get you sorted!' - he half seriously said.  At this stage I thought I'd better go along with whatever he wanted because else I would really be doing it for 30 minutes!

As usual, I thought I was AWFUL and just couldn't stop being negative about myself. Just like in Aikido ... to much bloody thinking!! Why can't I just BE!?

Upon my request, 'Rupert' filmed some of it again so I could watch it at home. I wasn't bouncing as badly as I thought I was but it was clear that my upper body was very stiff and my arms where almost rowing. Very clearly, 'Mr F' and 'I' were seprated ... not moving as one piece as we should.

I am having to find a switch to stop this thinking ... or I shall remain a statue.

Spring at last - Bath time

We have all been so pleased the sudden warm weather. What a blessing!

The bumblebees are out in force, I have not seen this many in the previous year and am pleased that they seem to be growing in numbers again.

With it being this warm - approx 16-20 degrees C - its time to get rid of all the dirt! It's time to give 'Mr F' a bath.

Last year he got used to the water and the sponge - was surprised that he wasn't used to it already. Surely they wash down racehorses!

Would it have been warmer I would have used the hose but it supplies cold water only.

Stage 1 - we both get equally wet. 

Stage 2 - soaking .... not so happy about it ... a bit like a cat being forced into the bath tub (although putting on his 'nice' face for the photograph)

Stage 3 - lathered -  by now 'Mr F' is quite enjoying it.

However, at all times I make sure nobody else is in the yard. He does like to show when he is not happy with something by small kicks with his back legs, for example.

Before everyone goes: 'Oh god, you mustn't allow your horse to do this!':

Firstly the kicks are never aimed at me. If I do something that annoys him on his right side, he will kick with his left leg, and away from me. It's his way of saying 'Now stop it, it is REALLY annoying!'. How else can he express himself?  

Indeed at the very beginning of our journey, there had been occasions where he did aim at me but without stricking. They are prefessionals at aiming ... just watch them play or sort out the herd order.  This of course I stopped immediately and made clear that it is not acceptable. 

I prefer a horse to be able to express if it is in discomfort or if something is not right. 'Mr F' and I have a good system like this and it has saved us quite a few vet fees, too by noticing things before they get too advanced (such as mudfever etc ... )

Of course it is needless to say: as soon as he was back in the field ... he went rolling in the dry soil. :)

May the warm weather continue!

Week 5 - Bareback Pad - Being Without Mind

This Sunday I had another lesson.

We continued where we had left it last week, which is basically me working on ever finer aids and also getting to grips with sitting trott without bouncing so that I can then progress to canter.

Some say canter is easier than sitting trott but I am not yet convinced and I want to kind of 'master' a decent sitting trott first for transition purposes.

Now I have to quickly go back to Aikido - In my prevous post I had mentioned the 'too much thinking' and therefore not having a feel for timing.

So today I tried to apply what I am beginning to discover in Aikido. In Aikido, to allow your training partner to practise you have to fully 'give' your body to your partner, i.e. don't tense up, don't resist don't stop him/her. This is important so that both learn to feel balance, timing and each other's energy. Of course that is just on the surface, what really matters is your mind, or NOT mind - to be in the moment, to be one with what is around you, to observe it all and be part of it.

But back to the lesson:

Inpreparation to riding out, I like spending some relaxed time with 'Mr F', grooming, sorting out his feet, etc etc etc. It helps me to figure out his mood and it allows him to get used to the fact that he has to go out.  Its some pleasant 'together' time.

There are moments when this is quite important like yesterday, when 'Mr F' had been left alone in the stable for a good 40 minutes and was quite upset about it. When I went to prepare him for going out he was quite unruly and not 'with' me. As I am still a beginner rider I prefer to have 'Mr F' settled prior to getting on, and I think it is more pleasant for him anyway. 

We spent quite some time in the yard, grooming, doing stuff etc. I hadn't tied him up so he could roam about. I noticed that he relaxes much quicker if he has freedom of movement. 

I continued as though everythign was  normal, totally ignoring his upset. 

After about 10 minutes 'Mr F' calmed down but was still now and then calling for his mates. I know that although 'Mr F' trusts me, I cannot replace his mates, I am not of the same kind. Some days this bothers him more than on others. If he is bothered, its usually when something is wrong with him, i.e. if he has discomfort or pain. 

When it was time to leave, 'Mr F' had accepted his lot and was happy enough with just my company. We made our way over to the meange where our lesson was to start in about 10 minutes.

Where were greeted by a very humourus 'Rupert' and this usually means: hell' make you work! And indeed, he was putting me through the paces today with this sitting trott! And it appears that I seem to have encouraged him to do riding without stirrups too because suddenly he said: 'You know what, I did some sitting trott yesterday and things where shacking that hadn't been shaking for a long time!' (referring to his stomach ...) Needless to say I spend much time laughing in that menage when 'Rupert' is there.

On this note: I realise that as soon as I laugh, I relax! Something I noticed in Aikido too.  Laughing frees up everything.

I hadn't thought about it before but I suddenly am aware that OUR BODY REACTS TO OUR MIND.  We get so tangled up with all the input, the constant being spoken to, our minds that want to control everything. We become serious, we become angry, we become expectant, we create problems where there aren't any, we look forward to something in the future (which isn't real) or we cling on to something in the past (which also is no longer real).  And all this trouble simply because we have this little 'monster' in our body called the mind, who is demands constant attention and makes stuff up.

 

Anyone that has regular experience with the odd drink or other drugs will surely have noticed the peace after a pint or two of beer, or a glass or two of wine. Suddenly, the voices in the head quieten down and there is peace and temporary 'happiness'.

This realisation has really gone under my skin. There must be a way to be in a peaceful, joyous and free place all the time, regardless of circumstances, without using any substances. 'I am not truly alive ...' this sticks in my head now.

But for now back to the lesson: 

I experimented with different positions, sitting a little further back or more forward, listening to 'Mr F' pointing out 'No woman, don't sit there!' - 'Ok ...' - 'And not there either!' - 'OK OK!' *sigh*.

  

After 20 minutes of this sitting trott business my legs were getting very tired and I felt my entire body being stiff like a plank of wood. I couldn't shut up my mind which was so loud now that I would have loved to banged my head against a wall just to shut it up! 

I was close to getting off and ending the lesson early but no, I don't quit - 'Enough! Forget about everything and just go with it. Who cares if you look like a bag of potoatoes - it doesn't matter. Just let 'Mr F' have that body of mine!'  This change of mind made a huge difference! The last 10 minutes we actually had a half-way acceptable sitting trott and 'Mr F' was striding out more relaxed. He also picked up quite a bit of speed as it was now more comfortable for him. 'Rupert' too commented on the sudden improvement. 

I did tell him about Aikido and I think I made him interested ... a little. Unfortunately he is never free on the evening when we have our class, else he would have come along to see what it is all about.

I am once more grateful for 'Mr F' being so patient - I am glad he doesn't have a human mind!