First Solo Rides - Knowing each other

This being a diary for myself to return to every know and then, I really ought to make an effort to write a little more because else I forget all the little (and big things) so here we go:

'Mr F' and I got a little stuck in a rut: feeding mornings and evenings, with grooming etc. much groundwork in between (learning to move out the way, not being frightened even of balloons and big plastic bags, moving legs properly, manoeuvring according to my body language, etc).

All the above things I am sure make him feel secure and comfortable. This he showed very soon by coming to me to say hello whenever I entered the field, no matter whether it was feeding time or not. He would often hang around the area where I was.

 We quickly bonded just after a month of knowing each other. In comparison to 'Rose' who preferred to stay out of it all.
 This was in May 2013 when 'Mr F' was still very thin.

But once I started feeding them twice and the grass finally grew (after a rather long winter!) he started to gain some weight. This was taken in  June 2013

July 2013

I guess once a horse has had a bit (or a lot) of a bad time and someone helps him/her out of it the forming of a bond between handler and horse is a natural occurrence. The question is: how far does this bond go ....

How far should it go ... what does the horse need. That is the question that was ALWAYS on my mind since 'Mr F' joined me on my path.

In our case it is clearly a case of both helping each other. 'Mr F' is doing much more for me than I can ever do for him.

So the least I can do is to attend to his 'needs'.

Lately I have noticed that he has gone a little dull, there was a sparkle missing. You know, when you look into their eyes ... you just 'know'.

OK, yes he is 20 but he is by now doing very well physically and is in a quite fit state.

But something was lacking. On hacks he would join behind other horses without much interest. It was a matter of "ok, I do it because you want me to" affair.

'Mr F' is a  wise and intelligent horse and I know that he reads me like a book. We usually get along well though sometimes it is a little bit of a battle of wills between us. We have many 'discussions' about how things should be done.

One thing I learnt quickly: this horse must not be dissapointed (treated unfairly or ignored, just to name a few things) or he will ignore you and pretend to know nothing. The stuff on the ground bored him, the riding out seemed to bore him ... and he showed less interest in my turning up.

He was clearly telling me something and I wasn't getting the message. He wasn't interested in going out into the fields ... or anything. He often would just stare at me, quite intensely and I just didn't get it!

Ok. So we done the trusting each other bit on the ground and we are ok riding out with others. Admittedly, I too had become a little tired of our routine so far and perhaps we had become a bit bored of each other, I am not sure.

The one thing we haven't done so far was to go out on our own. Most my fellow riding mates were off on holiday and so we were kind of 'grounded.

Another day passed with a rather dull 'Mr F'.

Alright, time for something new: lets go out on our own!

Sounds simple doesn't it.

I have the tendency to always imagine the worst case scenario, deliberately so and once I have accepted this scenario, I know I'll be fine. The first time I was having to board an aeroplane I first spent some time accepting the fact that there is a chance it could crash. By accepting it, I could then proceed with it all totally calm. I know, perhaps I am a little strange in this regard.

And so I did just that with our first solo ride and suddenly I felt calm about it. I am sure 'Mr F' will be the first to know if I am insecure and if I am insecure as a rider, how on earth can he be secure as the horse? We are supposed to look after one another, this is supposed to be teamwork.

I did have to act a little, trying to present myself to 'Mr F' as a person that knows what she is doing and was concentrating hard to give each of my moves when tacking up a purpose. He wasn't to find any hesitation or else he'd not trust me. At least that is what my gut insticts where telling me to do.

And so I went to mount. Once seated in the saddle, we remained still for a while, taking it all in. Then I asked 'Mr F' to leave the yard via the long drive, passing his pasture mates. He hesitated leaving the drive at first but I was pursasive enough for him to get on with it.

Once on the road, 'Mr F' was a different horse! He was assertive, he would listen to every of my commands, his ears pointing forward in great attention but also turning them backwards to listen to me. But most of all: I had life under my bottom! No longer did I feel as though I was sitting on treacle ... he actually had a nice steady gait that said "yeah, lets go some place!"

He spooked a few times over various items we encountered but overall it was a great experience.

We went out repeatedly on our own, out for hacks and also into the open fields.

The open fields were different yet again. There had been a few occasions when I asked him to trott where we had a few arguments when stopping. He was testing me a little, he is taking my learning to a different level.

Interesting to observe was that 'Mr F's expression in his eyes changed again. Almost though as he wanted to say: "Well done, you took on the challenge."

I do sometimes wonder if he really is 'just' a horse ... or a life coach in horse form ... or both.

Every now and then (funds allowing) I have a 30 minute riding lesson with 'Rupert'.

I told him that I had been riding out with 'Mr F' on my own and to my surprise he said: "I am sure you discovered a different horse!" - "I sure did!" I replied, with a big grin on my face.

We do still go out with other horses too, but to me this is a big step forward and I really like going out just by ourselves. If it is just the two of us we can listen to one another.

If going out with a group, there is a lot of chit chat and most sit on there horses like passengers, not paying much attention to their horse. I am quite sure that people find me odd because I don't talk much when riding. Firstly I have little interest in small talk (I seem to have very different interests to most women and there aren't any men riding it seems!) and secondly I noticed that 'Mr F' would somewhat shake his head in mild irritation if he kept hearing my voice jabbering away on his back.

"You talking to me or what? There is no such thing as a quiet woman ... "