Eye Contact

We had our third riding lesson a few days ago.

The lesson took place in different menage and 'Mr F' hadn't been there before. We took off on our own, it would take us a good 20 minutes to get there.

Once we arrived at the menage, I let 'Mr F' take it all in. New surroundings, a great big hedge on one side with sometimes quite fast traffic behind that.
He wasn't quite so sure about it tall. When we were to enter the menage, 'Mr F' became quite anxious and began snorting and looking at the ground.

The instructor said that 'Mr F' was taking the mickey and didn't want to work and so refused to enter the menage. This statement surprised me, coming from an instructor who I hoped should know better! It was very obvious to me  that  'Mr F' was trying to figure out if he was going to be safe. He hadn't been here before and he certainly didn't like that 'fluffy grey stuff' on the ground, with smelt very strongly of rubber on this hot day.

I got off and asked if I could lead 'Mr F' around the menage first so he could familiarise himself with the surroundings. It didn't matter to me if it would take up the whole 30 minutes. OK, paying money to walk your horse around the menage is not what I intended, but it didn't matter as I wanted 'Mr F' to feel OK with what was there. I should have gone up here the day before in preparation.

We walked around in that menage for some time and 'Mr F' followed me like a shadow. This is kind of OK but there had to be a point where he has to be comfortable enough so that I can walk away from him. The instructor, by now having noticed that 'Mr F' indeed was anxious rather than refusing to work, assisted me with some tips. One of them was to not have eye contact with 'Mr F' and to move just two steps. I could feel 'Mr F' going very fidgety but he did remain on the spot. Apparently he was fixed on my (so I was updated) but eventually gave a deep sigh, and relaxed.

By just standing there, a few steps away from 'Mr F', in a relaxed manner but without looking at him, he eventually was able to relax himself.

That was interesting for me to learn and it reminded me of similar observations when just being in the field with them. If there was eye contact between me and the horses, it meant to them "something is going to take place, she wants something from me" etc etc. No eye contact meant: "we're done, I am no longer needed and can go and eat grass, all is well, whatever it is it has nothing to do with me."

Another lesson learnt in terms of body language.